


They Met on eNatureHarmony

by Rosencrantz



Category: Goldilocks and the Three Bears (Fairy Tale)
Genre: F/M, First Meetings, desecration of an olive garden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3896536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rosencrantz/pseuds/Rosencrantz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Looking for honey in all the wrong places.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Met on eNatureHarmony

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dreamiflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamiflame/gifts).



They met for the first time at the Olive Garden.

He saw in an instant how much they had in common - his date had also chosen to wear a heavy trenchcoat and wide-brimmed hat. He'd worried about his outfit standing out when he selected it.

Her hat had flowers on top. They looked real, and he wondered what they tasted like. No. No. Those thoughts had to go away. This was a proper date! A proper human-type date where you did not consume the hat of your paramour.

He mustn't let her know he was actually an eight hundred pound grizzly bear.

He held out one clawed hand, concealed in leather gloves. She met it, her hand in delightful mittens.

"Hi!" he growled out. "I'm SalmonCatcher52. You must be BerriesBerriesBerries? You look just like your profile picture!" She'd worn the same hat and coat in her profile picture. Consistency. He liked that.

"Hey! You can call me Mam, okay?" said BerriesBerriesBerries. "Let's go in. Those unending breadsticks won't eat themselves!"

They both laughed.

An hour later, they were still working on those breadsticks, which suited him just fine. Bears couldn't actually pay for dinner and if this kept up, he wouldn't have to ask her to go, what was it the humans called it? Dutch.

"Don't you like them?" he asked her, noticing that her breadsticks lay on her plate in front of her, untouched.

"They're too hot. I like 'em cold," she said.

That wasn't his way. He'd dug in the moment they arrived, still steaming. But hey, if she wanted to wait, that was her business. And he _liked_ her. They had so much in common! They both hated hunters, loved sunny meadows, and she'd told him in a confiding tone that just last month she'd stolen someone's picnic basket. He liked a bad girl. Sure, their love could never be, but he would surely look back on their time with fondness.

Imagine, a human he liked! Maybe he wouldn't run off after he convinced her to buy him several pallets of honey from Costco. Maybe their love COULD be. Maybe they had a future!

Well, maybe they didn't as far as the waiter was concerned. He'd just come back for the _tenth_ time to ask what they wanted to order.

SalmonCatcher52 wasn't up on human body language - although he could totally tell Mam was into him - but he was pretty sure the waiter was getting mad.

"Sir, madam, I'm afraid if you don't order I'm going to ask you to leave for paying customers," said the waiter. The waiter tapped his fingers on his arm in irritation. 

Mam turned to the waiter and let out a low growl. "Don't rush us."

"This is an Olive Garden, not a park!" The waiter snapped. "We're not paid enough to deal with loiterers, trust me."

It was the wrong thing to say.

Mam stood up with another growl, and her hat fell off.

That's when SalmonCatcher52 saw.

BerriesBerriesBerries aka Mam was a stunning grizzly bear. More beautiful, muscular, and furry than he had ever imagined.

He fell in love instantly.

The waiter screamed. Mam swatted the waiter off into the distance.

SalmonCatcher52 got up, whipping off his own coat and hat. They fell to the ground behind him with a soft thump.

Mam looked at him, stunned. Her brown eyes were wide with surprise. And was that… attraction?

"You're a bear!"

"So are you! I had no idea!" He reached out to her. 

"You were so great at being a human!" she said, shuffling towards him, dumping her own coat. Her fur was thick and fluffy.

They embraced passionately as the restaurant screamed and emptied.

He had never been happier.

"I never introduced the real me," he said smoothly as they tore apart the kitchen for food to take with them to the woods. "I was worried it'd give me a way. The name's Pap Bear. We matched up on wanting cubs, so maybe one day… Papa Bear?"

She ripped the door off a fridge and grabbed a bag of chicken cutlets. "Those quizzes are _so_ accurate. When I saw we also matched on scratching our backs against trees and breaking into beehives, I knew I had to go out with you! I can't believe I never guessed you were a bear!"

"I know!" said Pap Bear. "It's totally wild. I was going to con you into buying me bulk honey!"

"Oh my god, me too!" They embraced again.

They packed up the stolen food and waddled off to the forest where they lived happily after except for a brief incident of burglary.

**Author's Note:**

> old titles:
> 
> The Two Bears and the Neverending Bowl of Breadsticks  
> Neverending Breadsticks: The Feast of Love  
> they came for bread, they left with the waiter's arm  
> Two Bears Walk Into An Olive Garden  
> Teddy Bears Tepid Italian Feast


End file.
